Little Red Riding Hood

Hi diary,

How have you been, love? I have been following a really busy schedule and a peaceful life, hence I haven't felt the need to open you and fill you up. I flew home a couple of weeks ago and things have kept me quite preoccupied especially the kitchen and mom.

You must be thinking now as to why I suddenly decided to pick up my pen and fill yet another page thus endangering another bamboo tree. The only reason being, a friend of mine who texted me recently asking me how I have been lately. I should have been immensely happy because you know how I love it when someone from my school days takes the time to write down three to four phrases of affection for me. Sadly his intentions of poking me via my WhatsApp were anything but good. It felt nice to think that my so-called friends actually cared about me. Unfortunately it was anything but a gesture of love and affection.

After all lust rules them all out.

My friend has found his soul mate in an apparently 'sweet and loving' girl who couldn't satisfy his beastly needs. So me being the back up plan gets a ping. 

Unfortunately diary I don't understand how phone sex was going to help him relieve himself either. I mean you have a body laying beside you permitting you to wolf it down however you have wanted. Yet you are hungry asking for more. How was a mere thought of another body permitting you another feast for supper going to calm down your beastly hormones?

Apparently she has a low sex drive. So? You would go around man-whoring? What the actual fuck! 

That wasn't even the worst part. I felt so cheap. Did I look like a home-wrecker? Apparently the phone coitus was not equivalent to cheating. Was that so? At that point, I did not give a damn as to what he was doing with his relationship with that female. What mattered to me was the way he had prostituted me in a second, forgetting our years of friendship and those nightly calls when he used to cry and wallow in his self pity after his previous break up and I used to stay up and listen to everything and whisper sweet nothings hoping he would sleep and not harm himself any further than he already had. The things I had done for him never really mattered to him at that moment. What mattered to him was the fact that he was hungry and in need of more fresh meat and that had to be me, a mere girl, a mere side chick, a mere toy to play with. 

Men are supposedly very fickle when it comes to women. They feel women leave them to stick their hips to someone better. It is definitely true with certain modifications of course. Some women do not wish to try and leave when they find someone better. But some women stay put and push them towards the right path and make the same man thousand times better than what he was before. What men have failed to understand is the fact that we live in an ever evolving world where we are supposed to adapt and be the best. After all Charles Darwin being a man himself had said - survival of the fittest. Why just not be better for someone who will bestow you with their love for their whole lives only to make you more successful? 

At first I gave up on finding love and now I have given up on the fact that chivalry is not dead. Men are hounds and so will they always remain - vicious hounds.

My heart strings are still holding on to those last bits of love which are on the verge of becoming extinct. And I truly feel shameful to the way I shower my love on people only to be stabbed repeatedly from behind. When love fails, it withers away and ultimately vaporizes. But when love - be it any form - is lost, you can hear the clanking of those glasses and breaking off the glasses into pieces of shards which prick your heart and bleed it without you actually realizing it until your heart just stops because you have bled out completely.

And let me tell you even then my heart has not turned into stone because they mean so much to me. They are alive in my heart because 'I' love them. 

I wish I could scold him and hit him with a golf stick just to see how far I could hit those balls. Whether they actually fell into the holes of hell or whether into some wolf's stomach. But no, I couldn't because somewhere my heart explained to me why he did what he did. Because he is a man 'with needs'.

The anger I hold in my heart is because of the disrespect we still get from men in the 21st century. Men love playing around you for a couple of days and then they apparently lose 'interest'. How I have never understood nor do I wish to comprehend. How could he do this to her and to me I do not wish to know. But I have understood one thing - 

Men will always be men. 

No matter how gentlemanly they are, they know how to thread their emotional web of lies and blackmail. 

Such wolves in sheep's clothing tend to slaughter the actual sheep. The females being the herder slaughter a good man's image in their hearts ultimately guillotining their heads of self respect in a pursuit of odding out the wolves. I have done that too and it breaks my heart to see such a ripper born in the place of an innocent red riding hood. 

But what could the red riding hood do if every wolf she passed by looked at her as if she were their supper for the night? 

How would she believe that there was her good ol' granny waiting for her in the woods of betrayal and mistrust? 

Unfortunate are all those honourable men who uphold a woman's dignity and needs above theirs because they are barely so many to fight against a mob of vicious and filthy patriarchal canines baring their teeth at every feministic sheep. 

God save the Queen (women). 

- Akankshya Panda