Deleting negativity

Hey diary,

It feels so good whenever I write in you. You take away all the negative energy bubbling inside of me waiting to burst out like lava which will flow and incinerate the people close to me just like the city of Pompeii. I realized that the more the negative energy fizzled out, the more I could protect the people around me.

I have always been surrounded by love and care. I have always been pampered throughout my life but as I grew older, I realized that not everyone has been caring about me. They lend their love with a charge of a pricey interest and ultimately I was indebted to them. This cycle continued all over.

I have been walked over by so many people so many times. They came to me only when they wanted something and I did everything for them because they meant something to me. I loved them and gave them a place in my heart but the heart that roofed their heads was being cut open by them when there was always a door out. They were drilling the walls of my heart with their behaviour not bothering about the pain they were causing me, not bothering about the blood I was spitting out of my mouth. I remember seeing them standing there looking down upon their vicious incarnation of me asking for help whilst holding onto the last strings of my life and my chest that bled out the last litre of blood, with victorious smiles on their faces while I lay there counting my last breaths. They laughed and kicked sand onto my face.

As my eyes were about to shut forever, I saw from the corners of my weeping eyes, some samaritans running towards me yelling for me to hold on and not give up. They ran up to me and held me in their arms not listening to the negativity standing above them. They held me in their arms, gave me CPR and stitched me up completely, making my heart pump all over again. That was when I realized they were my positive energy.

I stood up healed yet scarred. And they stood covering me like a shield. Not allowing any negativity to breach in and strike me down all over again. Should I say I was lucky enough?

P. S. I am sorry diary but you were not the only source of positive energy. I have a few more besides you and they know it. ❤️

Akankshya Panda