The beginning of the mayhem

Hey diary,
I am so sorry I lost you somewhere. I can't find you. You have my darkest secrets hidden inside of you. Well the past should always be buried 6 to 7 feet below. That's how we walk and catch up with the unstoppable - time.
Time has always taught me tarnished yet beautiful things. 4 years ago, I was a meek, ignorant person trying to be a Roman in Rome. But little had I known that these 4 years completely transformed me from a shy and innocent girl to a bold and cunning woman. I shall never forget these 4 years of my life. My wrong choices were the right paths to my development. Sad, I had the slightest knowledge of it.
A beautiful memory turning into a wretched mistake requires only your acceptance. Do you know what I call this? I name this love.
When you are in love, you create an imaginary bubble and float inside of it until you come across a thorn and the bubble bursts.
A sudden waft of knowledge slams into your head and that is when you realise that you were in an imaginary world.
A lover is like a traveller walking across a desert called love whilst the person on the receiving end or the loved one is like a mirage. From far away, it gives the lover a beautiful glimpse of watery love and as the lover paces closer, boom the mirage is gone and the lover a goner.
Love is a beautiful yet ugly experience of life.
People say that it's better to have loved and then lost rather than not have loved at all.
Is it really true? And if so, at what cost? At the cost of yourself?
I would rather go back in time and never love than lose myself the way I have. I fell in love and lost him to the wilderness of his cunning mind. But did I actually lose him? No. I lost my innocence. I lost my faith in love. I lost my dignity.
Love happens spontaneously so I don't think I can be blamed for loving the wrong person.
I still remember his vile words piercing through my heart, almost killing me on spot. But whom can I blame for clogging my heart making it so difficult to beat yet again? Nobody.
Hence my sincere advice choose peace instead of happiness.
😊

Akankshya Panda ❤️