I, me and myself

Good morning journal,

I have always enjoyed writing in you and found solace in you. You have been the only thing that has not judged me ever.
I remember sitting inside the bathroom for long hours to write in you and to keep you a secret. But as we have gone almost two decades into the twenty first century, people post such memorable secrets on the social media. The element of surprise is no longer alive. People wish to show others how they are so unhappy with their life.

I know I sound like a hypocrite, aren't I one in the first place? Just because today I am doing the same thing.........posting my sob story on the Internet? But then I realized, I should do what feels right to me even if I am a hypocrite. That's how I must lead my life. That's how I will love the most amazing person - me

A very close friend of mine shared the same fate as me when it came to love. I was unable to tell her what she was supposed to do because I never understood the strategy in the battle of love. But being the warrior that she was, she fought her own battle herself. She learnt it all and struck down her opponent hard although the opponent was successful enough in plunging his sword deep into the caverns of her heart.

She bled silently, without groaning in pain for once. We both were fighting our own battles and she came to me with her open heart still bleeding to save me from my opponent. I was so lost in the whirlpools whirling in his eyes that little had I realized that a dagger had been plunged deep into my heart.

Unlike her I roared in pain and writhed in anger for having been so foolish. But together we had overpowered him and had won. How you ask? By surviving those vicious poundings of pain our activated pain receptors.

Lost love is like trigeminal neuralgia. The pain is so much that you wish to end it once and for all. It is very difficult to get through and start living again.

But we did it. Why? Because we loved ourselves. Because we couldn't lose our love again.

Self love is the real love and I learnt how to love myself because of him.

Akankshya Panda